One day, while in jail serving back to back sentences, I cried and told myself I wouldn’t use drugs again when I got out - even though I knew I probably would. I turned to God in prayer.
That night, I dreamed I was on a seaside dock, overlooking the water on a sunny day in Carmel. I could feel the sun on my shoulders. In my dream, I was clean and felt God shining over me. In my dream, I said to myself, “How nice it feels to be free of addiction! I am sober by the grace of God!”
When I woke up, I realized that someday God would take me out of addiction and I would be happy. I looked forward to that day, but sadly, it would be six more years before that dream would come true. I did not know how I would get clean, but I knew from the dream that it was something to be proud of. I began repentance to God, and in my prayers I let Him know that I could not and would not be able to do it alone. I truly desired for help to come but also desired to be an addict.
Two years later, God sent helpful angels that made use of the drug methamphetamine impossible to continue. I fell to mental illness from using and lost all touch with reality.
The help I had prayed for mysteriously arrived. At my lowest, I realized a program was the only way out. A public defender once mentioned a program being ‘just the thing’ that helped a drug abuser. This was echoing in my mind. I was finally ready to change my life. The streets hold nothing for a person who has the light of God in their intentions. A lot of people are good inside and have what it takes to come out of homelessness. They can take the helping hand of God directed to them through resources, extended to them by Christian followers of God like the workers and program directors of the Merced Rescue Mission.
Christ taught that we should love our brother. The Mission runs on donations from people who care about if you live or die. Everyone wants to see you do better. Complete strangers extend their love and concern for you through their association with the Merced Rescue Mission.
I was on the streets with harmful thoughts, and struggling with mental illness brought on by drug use. I walked around tormented for so long. The Merced Rescue Mission was willing to help me if only I would accept their help. I graduated from the Hope for Women program in September 2020. I got a job, and soon after was eligible to move into one of the Mission’s Sober Living Environment homes. I am now a Resident Assistant Advisor at the home. It’s an honor to be in this position, respected and trusted. I am happy, proud, employed, clean, and healthy. I will be off probation in a few months and have no desire to use ever again. I am taking classes online from the community college full time, and I aspire to become a writer, majoring in journalism.
Without help from the justice system and the Mission, I would still be mentally ill and homeless. I pray to thank God every night. By the grace of God, I am sober.
We invite you to read more powerful testimonies to learn more about what your support means to the Rescue Mission participants. Our faith-based programs rely solely on donations from our community. Click here to see our 2020 statistics. And we are building a new campus, a Village of Hope, so we can change more lives in our community!