Nine months ago, I walked into the Hope for Men program carrying more than just a bag of clothes. I carried shame, regret, pain, and a life that felt completely out of control. On the outside, it may have looked like I had things together, but inside I was falling apart. I had burned bridges, hurt people I loved, and was slowly destroying myself. I barely recognized the person I had become.
Walking through those doors was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. When you enter a program like this, you can’t hide anymore. You can’t run from the truth about your life. You must face it, and, at first, that was terrifying.
When I first entered the program, I had just quit using meth “cold turkey” after about a month of constant use. My body and mind were exhausted. I started having nightmares every night, and they were not just bad dreams, but the kind that wake you up shaking and making you afraid to fall asleep again. I was overwhelmed and felt like I was fighting everything alone.
Sometime later, the Hope for Men program took us on a trip to Bear Lake. One evening, we went on a hike to a place called Meditation Rock. It was dark, quiet, and peaceful. For the first time in a long time, I sat there and prayed honestly and openly. I prayed for the nightmares to stop because I was so tired of being afraid to sleep. I remember telling God that I couldn’t keep doing this on my own. That night, something changed.
Up until then, I had not been sleeping well, waking up constantly from nightmares. But that night, I slept for twelve hours straight in a tent, on the ground without even a sleeping pad, just like a baby. No nightmares!
When I woke up the next morning, it felt like something had lifted off me, and that moment changed something inside me. For the first time in my recovery, I felt like I wasn’t fighting this battle alone.
I felt like God had heard me. Like, there was something bigger helping me take the next step forward. That was a turning point for me.
From that moment on, my faith began to grow stronger. On the days when recovery felt impossible, faith helped me stay. On the days when I doubted myself, faith reminded me that my story wasn’t over.
These nine months haven’t been easy. Recovery means facing things you used to run from. It means taking responsibility for your past and doing the work every single day. But it also means healing.
Little by little, I began to become someone new, someone who tells the truth, someone who shows up, and someone who believes tomorrow can be better than yesterday.
I want to thank the staff, the counselors, and everyone here who supported me through this journey. You didn’t just help me get through nine months. You helped me begin rebuilding my life.
Nine months ago, I walked in broken and lost. Today I walk forward with faith, hope, and a second chance at life.
As it says in 1 Corinthians 10:13:
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s this:
The man who walked into the Hope for Men program nine months ago was fighting for his life…
but today I’m a man who is finally ready to live it.
